Wanderings of mind--Part 1

It grows dark outside my window on the third floor, as I sit alone and type.
Nothing as readable, just a few ramblings of mind fixed here. To locate my way back if I lose the path. Heat is a bit stifling and life too seems to have got stuck. So no rhyme, no rhythm, no reason. Come let's float in the flow, uninhibited without any struggles.

Sometimes a despondence creeps up out of nowhere, and grips the whole being. Losing into nothingness seems the only way out, but the path is uncertain too. So many people in my life, yet no one to who I can completely open my heart. A sense of responsibility and duty too hangs out, but towards what?

And suddenly you feel indifferent to all this hubbub and drudgery of existing. It all seems futile. No I am not being a depressed suicidal maniac, just plain bored of life.
It is like being in a party where no attraction or reason to stay is present, yet you can not leave for the sake of courtesy.

So I get up from the bench and start walking into the deep dark forests of my thoughts. Shrouded in mist and wrapped in cobwebs. Some memories so old, I forget what time forged it.
Is there a reason for memories to stay in your head? To warm you, warn you or hurt you repeatedly? I do not know neither I fathom. I continue my stroll as sun gives way to the approaching night. The river silently flows making a soft murmuring sound against the stones. A few boats with lanterns tarry homeward and someone plays a melancholy note on the flute.

far away mud houses are baked from inside by the kitchen fire, dark sooty smoke arising from the roofs. Children shouting and running around as the birds roost making an awful noise. A few stars appear on the horizon as if terrified to come out all together and shine. yet majestically night comes, wearing her black dress of darkness. she is a temptress, smelling all over of jasmine. The mesmerizing catwalk on moon rays and the teasing smile of cool breeze. feel like taking my shirt off and letting her kiss me all over. Soothe away all the weariness and worries. I light my cigarette and come back to my room, adding a bit of cloud to the air. My kiss to the mistress night;
I LOVE U.