Wanderings of Mind

What when the desires are finished? Or are they ever?
When life finds that it has no more a purpose left, or that serving a purpose is rather an illusion created no one knows how or when, or perhaps we don't want to acknowledge the source; what then? Sometimes purpose seem like alibi created by life in order to sustain itself.

 The material existence has a limit and so does the physical body and hence, perhaps this immense search for immortality.
                                   May be it is ingrained in us; the ignorance within and without and the egoistic existence we lead, not to mention the way we are brought up. As Voltaire said "Born free, yet everywhere in chains."
At every step, what we face is immense decay and corruption, not only morally and physically, but also psychologically. The differentiations based on colour, creed, caste, religion, language and other innumerable man made criteria are but the tip of the iceberg. We may proclaim equality of mankind in political or religious ways, yet the truth remains that the greed prevails.
                     Everything and anything has been deified for the human sacrifice and we forget the most essential component of life is not money or language or some other creation of thought, but the mankind itself. And so the perversion creeps in, slowly. We have lost our bonds with nature and a self created world is what we live in. like narcissus, we have fallen in love with ourselves and that shall be the undoing of us.
                            There are senseless wars and mindless acts of violence and it seems a frenzy has been whipped within all of us that is pushing us to the edge. And like blind maniacs, we run towards the cliff, knowing not that the mist has kept us unaware of the final fall.

The Dark Side of the Moon

Something, a bit dark....




Have you ever felt all alone and forlorn? Something running from the tip of yor head
to the end of your toe, chilling all that is and freezing something inin your
veins. Something that is arcane,pure and unadulterated, like life itself ,surging
through.
With every breath of yours, it slows and clots.
And yet a sudden spasm blows it up all again.
A dormant volcano brought to life, breathing fire, turning all ice into lava.
Yet it flows down, the ale of spirits, scarlet and all intoxicating.
Drip ,drip,drip; drop by drop it falls and accumulate, blackening the floor beneath.
Thick and dark, it reeks of a sickly sweet mixed smell; the smell of dreams and
desires both hidden and revealed. of the tales your heart hid in a deep lair or told
them for the winds to spread. of guilts and sins and thoughts so beautiful and
lovely as the summer mornings and the ones dark, pitch dark of the secret revolting
pleasures you want to enjoy.
Thoughts that rush all at once, swirling and hurtling; to suffocate you,smother your
senses drowning every last bit of your existence into oblivion.
And a bleak purple silhouette enwraps you, as you lie in the bed; a crimson stream
running down your slashed wrists and slit throat.
Your mouth! Its full of bitter bile and blood; your own blood, every time you cough.
Tell me, how it taste? Nice and hot? or Vile and salty?
Inches by inches pain shoots up in your body,like the poison from a viper's kiss.it
crawls all along you and singes every part it touches. you burn and smoulder, but no
flames ensue, no smoke either.

Calm down my friend.Lie silently; feel yourself floating in a vast river or on blue
sheets of icy glaciers that skim the oceans.
Just drift uninhibited; give up the futile struggles.

And embrace your final destiny. The last dance.....
Amen!


Regards,
Gunjan

Wanderings of mind--Part 1

It grows dark outside my window on the third floor, as I sit alone and type.
Nothing as readable, just a few ramblings of mind fixed here. To locate my way back if I lose the path. Heat is a bit stifling and life too seems to have got stuck. So no rhyme, no rhythm, no reason. Come let's float in the flow, uninhibited without any struggles.

Sometimes a despondence creeps up out of nowhere, and grips the whole being. Losing into nothingness seems the only way out, but the path is uncertain too. So many people in my life, yet no one to who I can completely open my heart. A sense of responsibility and duty too hangs out, but towards what?

And suddenly you feel indifferent to all this hubbub and drudgery of existing. It all seems futile. No I am not being a depressed suicidal maniac, just plain bored of life.
It is like being in a party where no attraction or reason to stay is present, yet you can not leave for the sake of courtesy.

So I get up from the bench and start walking into the deep dark forests of my thoughts. Shrouded in mist and wrapped in cobwebs. Some memories so old, I forget what time forged it.
Is there a reason for memories to stay in your head? To warm you, warn you or hurt you repeatedly? I do not know neither I fathom. I continue my stroll as sun gives way to the approaching night. The river silently flows making a soft murmuring sound against the stones. A few boats with lanterns tarry homeward and someone plays a melancholy note on the flute.

far away mud houses are baked from inside by the kitchen fire, dark sooty smoke arising from the roofs. Children shouting and running around as the birds roost making an awful noise. A few stars appear on the horizon as if terrified to come out all together and shine. yet majestically night comes, wearing her black dress of darkness. she is a temptress, smelling all over of jasmine. The mesmerizing catwalk on moon rays and the teasing smile of cool breeze. feel like taking my shirt off and letting her kiss me all over. Soothe away all the weariness and worries. I light my cigarette and come back to my room, adding a bit of cloud to the air. My kiss to the mistress night;
I LOVE U.