Ramblings Of mind-6

Are heart and mind separate entities? Or is mind but an alibi/alias for the ego? Thoughts arise from needs and memories, which arise from the survival instinct. the survival instinct at its root has fear, which has the final root in the death.
All our laws, morality, rituals, prayers and other such things are but the result of fear.Even the way love is professed on terms of demand and supply; the laws of trade are but the repercussions of fear. Fear is the primordial emotion. There is no escape from it.
Momentarily, we might devise things like work, entertainment and other such hundred things from it, but somewhere in the life or most of the times, fear is present as sorrows and/or pains. the sensual pleasures and the life around it may be a diversion, and a good one too.  But fear waits patiently, biding its time; just around the corner. When you are all alone, bereft of support, internal and external, it catches you in its unforgiving grip.

And then ensues a combat, a mortal one, when your heart is filled with true sorrow. Perhaps that seems to be the way of the world. A quest, a thirst arises, to know oneself in all nakedness, devoid of name and other traps of recognition. The primal root of existence beckons us. The delusions are torn off from the flesh, and the dreary mirage of reality awaits, yawning its cruel and relentless jaws. It is a harsh journey where sometimes the destination is not an oasis, but a barren dune of ashes for your grave.
Fear shall however drive you on and on, until the path is red from the tracks of your bloody feet and your mind becomes a dark abyss of madness.

 Naturally then , the question arises if there is a path out? The human civilization has had more than ten  millennium of  gods, prophets, enlightened soul and all the carry along paraphernalia; still we are the same barbarians. only our tribal instincts have been taken over by nationalistic greed, religious fanaticism and other such things. the insanity remains incurable and the number of patients keeps increasing.


Definitions always rest on the wobbly ground of beliefs and hence the discrimination of right and wrong is always the choice between the devil and the deep sea. The time runs short and yet we bury ourselves into the mire of illusions as the ostrich would in sand, despite knowing the imminent danger. The internal conflict and resulting violence and hatred rot the introspection that might provide a respite and retreat from the self destruction we willingly but ignorantly choose.

We let the moments fleet past. Every one have their own reason, motives and alibis. A mad rush descends upon the senses and intellects as the sandstorms blocking the sun and all that is left is the sand and darkness, when its all over. The hourglass drains on.

We let the childhood pass in play and youth in careless fun and frolic. or their are more 'respectable' pursuits of fame, wealth and power. the simple, sweet connections with nature, both external and internal are slowly severed or lost. A silent smouldering flame of desires quietly burns away the existence and we are left with nothing but ashes when  it is all over.

Evening lit by the tender and shy young sliver of the moon, rises above the merrily flowing river.
The forest is all bathed in the enchanting golden light, smooth as silk. The very leaves seem to be magical, as if they will vanish with the slightest touch. A silence, arcane, covers the trees even as the quaint voices of night seem a part of the quietude hanging from the vines. A trance as if has settled over the dark canopy of the jungle and a magical beauty keeps watch over the night.
                                                    There is a slightly chill breeze that picks up from time to time and the rustle of leaves with the distant hoot of owls, remind of a watchman's call. When the wind dies, the mysterious silence once again spreads her satin cloak over the foliage.

Even dreams might loose their way into this dense archaic maze of verdure, blackened by night. The shadows of the tress from the moon seem darker than black and older than time. the haunting music of a forlorn solitude plays on the lips of the watcher. All these scenery exist for his senses only and yet he is a part of it, but somewhat  apart too; or perhaps they are same. The vibrations resonate softly in the hollow of heart and a virgin desire is born, to roam in the forbidden territories of  consciousness.

Where-from the dreams come? Are they but the remnants of the waking consciousness as the science would have us believe? Or is there some impenetrable secret behind those facades to an alternative reality, which are exclusive to ever individual? Perhaps they are a ghost town; the refuge of sanity where mind and heart are free from all the sham they create in search of safety and security.All names, forms, laws, rituals and relationship with the ego at the centre are lost in the streets of slumber town.

May be deep inside us all there is a dream, the quintessence of ourselves. The never-land we can just be witness to and never ever actually find. It is the place where I am just me, without you, anyone or even myself. Its a me unaware of its own existence. The only thing to do is sit in the shade of the tamarind tree by the river, and look up at the clouds floating in the azure skies. the murmur of river mixing in the verdure of the smiling earth and everything in harmony of love.

Wanderings of Mind

What when the desires are finished? Or are they ever?
When life finds that it has no more a purpose left, or that serving a purpose is rather an illusion created no one knows how or when, or perhaps we don't want to acknowledge the source; what then? Sometimes purpose seem like alibi created by life in order to sustain itself.

 The material existence has a limit and so does the physical body and hence, perhaps this immense search for immortality.
                                   May be it is ingrained in us; the ignorance within and without and the egoistic existence we lead, not to mention the way we are brought up. As Voltaire said "Born free, yet everywhere in chains."
At every step, what we face is immense decay and corruption, not only morally and physically, but also psychologically. The differentiations based on colour, creed, caste, religion, language and other innumerable man made criteria are but the tip of the iceberg. We may proclaim equality of mankind in political or religious ways, yet the truth remains that the greed prevails.
                     Everything and anything has been deified for the human sacrifice and we forget the most essential component of life is not money or language or some other creation of thought, but the mankind itself. And so the perversion creeps in, slowly. We have lost our bonds with nature and a self created world is what we live in. like narcissus, we have fallen in love with ourselves and that shall be the undoing of us.
                            There are senseless wars and mindless acts of violence and it seems a frenzy has been whipped within all of us that is pushing us to the edge. And like blind maniacs, we run towards the cliff, knowing not that the mist has kept us unaware of the final fall.

Ramblings of Mind - Part 3

oDear Guys and gals, another one in set of the Meanderings of My mind. I just want you all to read and enjoy. I do not wish to hurt anyone. The views are entirely mine, no judgments on anything/one. Grammatical mistakes are unavoidable. Please enjoy the article and thanks one and all for your time spent to read it.

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Mind is the most beautiful thing, sometimes I feel. It’s so wonderful creation of a master worker. It has created marvels of marvels with all what nature gifted us with. A will to go beyond the seemingly unsurmountable impossibilities posed by nature. The impediments of distances, depths and heights, unthinkable and unfathomable as they were, but no longer. Not to mention the barriers of cultures and climates. So many inventions we take for granted so many things around us; small everyday commonplace things. We forget the beauty imbued into trifles, as they seem. Rains on rooftop, the smell of a lawn cut freshly, smiles all around you, of small kids or strangers and your loved ones. I feel like dancing, when I listen to a tune played somewhere., on a radio on a loudspeaker. Songs, they lift the heart in a way nothing else can. Nature has given from her coffers so much, and we have used the gift of intellect bestowed upon by the lord to recreate the magic. Sometimes I sit and think of the things I daily use and my heart is filled with awe and admiration to what we have achieved, as humankind.

Let me start with getting up from my bed thing, by the pleasant sound of the alarm in my cell phone. Now cell phone is an amazing piece of engineering. A music player, a phone of course, message storage box, radio, internet and what not. Name it and you have it. Taking a bath on the third floor, under a shower seems pretty normal, except if you can imagine bringing the same amount of water from a well. Then comes dressing up with clothes I feel comfortable in. And last but not the least my shoes, Lee Cooper ones. So nice they are, so cozy. I just wonder who would have invented a comfort so necessary. Hats off to the guy/gal, who built the first shoe.

And also to the hundreds and thousands, who created small things of daily use; a needle, a mirror, a wheel, a button, a zip and thousand other things. Can we imagine our modern day Lives without any of them? Then there are some personal favourites, like the steam engine, a printing press, a typewriter, a telephone and internet. All of these spawned amazing progenies; the sparked desires. Desires to shorten distances, to bring all humanity and the knowledge together as one. Increased productivity in terms of material wealth and basic necessities. Better houses, better sanitation, better medicines and better life for one and all. Recreation is as important to man as work is. It takes us back to the primal source of all knowledge, the thought. Dance, music and other such fine arts make us transcend the normal limits of traditional thinking and reach a sublime sphere of being. A place where everything is beautiful and untainted. A flute sounds like a cuckoo singing, a drum like a thunderstorm. The magic of nature created from the creations of nature and human genius. The musical instruments are among the most marvellous of our inventions along with the colours, paints, the pen and the paper. For centuries they have kept the legends alive, nurtured the soul of mankind with milk of sweetness and hope. They created awe and inspiration for the generations; to achieve the impossible, to go beyond the unknown.

I am currently reading the autobiography of Helen Keller. For those of us who do not know her, she was a deaf and blind woman. She was the first deaf-blind person to achieve a Bachelor of Arts degree. The book is a gem for all of us to feel rather than just read. I would suggest everyone to read it, for it will show what determination and grit can achieve. More than that, it makes you appreciate the sensory faculties we have been blessed. Ability to see, hear, speak, touch and think; just imagine what your life will be without one of them?

And yet here we are, most of us going through the whole of life putting all those small jewels of time down the drain of ego; a murky, obnoxious mixture of petty feelings, jealousy, arrogance, hatred and so many negativities. Why do we need to feel superior to everyone around us, usually in a tyrannical sort of way? A foolish will to control everything around us, knowing very well you can’t. And in the end wrecking our lives and hurting the ones we claim to love. It’s so confusing and disturbing. Quarrels and fights on matters so non trivial. Which god to pray and how, when hardly one in a million will have the real knowledge of what praying really means, what actually god is. But I will slit throat of innocent people, burn houses without remorse, if your thinking differs from mine on anything and vice versa.

A continuous march to the grave or funeral pyre as the case may be all of us are onto. So my friend, why not make the path more serene, blissful and blessed for our children who follow us and make our ancestors proud who went ahead. Why can’t love each other without thinking of return or authority? Why can’t we let our children grow in a world full of mutual respect, love and help, instead of the deceitful and pathetic one we are creating? Everywhere I see people dividing themselves in name of god, caste, language, colour and creeds. Not considering even for a moment the hollowness of these criterion as we apply them today. People blowing up themselves for a reason they do not understand the implications of. Ages have passed and will pass. Hundreds of Buddha and Christ will walk and yet the earth will be deluged with blood of innocent men and animal for pleasure and insanity we pursue unabated. Leave the war fields and other such big things. Just look into our very own daily lives. Walk in front of a mall today. We can buy a pair of jeans or an ear ring or a Mcdee Burger, spending a large amount of money on something so frivolous. And yet giving a 5 Rs coin to a beggar we feel ourselves as King Vikramaditya, who it is said would donate one lakh gold coins every morning. Our generation is destroying itself in smoke, alcohol and promiscuous relationships.

You need not go far, just look at the young generation, guys and gals working in large cities, in sectors new and paying handsomely. They are flush with so much money, hard-earned though it is; they know not what to do with it. The vices are just around the corner in such cases to prey upon them. We walk blindfolded on the promontory eventually to fall in the sea. A rush is there to nowhere, and the end is not in my sight. And yet as someone truly said “Faith is the bird that sings, when the dawn is still dark”, I too have hopes. Hope that someday we are out of this stupor. So that we work for those who can not afford to help themselves.

I feel we are all connected, all humans and beasts,deep within. Otherwise why do I feel sad when a car crashes or a misguided guy blasts himself to pieces; when trees are cut just to create just another mall or something equally stupid? Why am I happy when I see a puppy jumping on all fours, a kid playing naked in rains smile, or when someone braves all difficulties to help a complete stranger? I am happy and sad with every one of you, as you are with me, knowingly or unknowingly. Just try and feel it, and you will know. May the best thing we have, our brains; the thing that created this keyboard I am typing on and the net which will give you this message, be calm and peaceful. Let us all grow in a spirit of togetherness, preserving our individual cultures and harmonizing with others. May we overcome petty habits of food, creed and language. They were created to group ourselves as one, not to be the cause of battles. We lower ourselves than the brutes that roam or the spineless creatures which slither, when we offend the spirit. And we know when we are wrong, just that we do not want to admit. Only because of a false sense of pride; a pride bound to go, whatever the reason of it be.

One day your body will fade away and your thoughts too. So will go away the name and riches you desire. We are not the centre of this Universe; we are mere specks of dust floating in this vast universe. It is all beautiful and happy, only you need to look the right way. And you will see the light, shining beautifully, beckoning you.

Let peace be unto us.

Amen

Love,

Gunjan

Ek UR, SAAQI(has lot of urdu wods)

ek qatra maut ka, fir galey mein daalaa hai,
halak mein zindagi sokh rahi thee, usko numm karney ko.

Kahtein hain sabhi kay haraam hai, hothon se laganaa tujhey,
humnay kaha, qadr heeray ki toh jauhari hi ko hai naa?

haan barbaad kar deta hai badan ko, nashaa woh cheez hai,
par main toh apni rooh ko bachaana chahta hoon.

Khoon kay cheeton saysanaa hoon, masoom begunahon kay
muhabbat, mazahab aur khuda kay naam pay maaartein hain jinko.

Chund alfaz jo meri zabaan mein bol nahi saktey, yaa paida huye kahin door mere mulk se,
haq nahi unko khud ko insaan kehnay ka,to fir zinda kyun chodoon main unko?


Bus isi say dar ke ,thodi der guum ho jaata hoon is ajeeb si duniya say,
khud pee kay jo mast hai nafrat aur vehshaton ke jaam.


aur pata nahi kis moonh say kehti hai humko,

"ki uski beti nay chadhaa rakkhi hai duniya sir pay, khairiyat guzari ke angoor ke beta na hua."

A storyteller

I stand alone, under the full winter moon, and gaze at it. The wolf's soul sleeping deep inside my human soul wakes up and watches with an unspeakable longing. I want to howl.
A weaver I am of stories, untold and long forgotten ones. A keeper of legends and myths , born of the truths absolute and so old. I gather moonbeams and sunshines, in the plains, the forest, the farms, the markets , the seas, the shores and everywhere. And put them on the loom of my imaginations and feelings, to weave a gossamer of your sweat and labour. Spun to fill the silence of this universe with the music of humanity, your joys and sorrows..
i paint tales of friendships, sacrifice and betrayals. Lands and fables where even beasts are brothers and trees whisper songs unsung ever from a mortal lip in the ears of air. To carry unto eons and generations the dance of life in all its majesty and cruelty alike.
Aye my friend! I sow my heart in the fields of your hearts and lives and reap the dreams, happy and dark alike. I prepare a flour of words, spoken, unspoken and unheard. Sift them and with waters of your tears and laughter knead them. To finally make a bread of a poem or a story that feeds the sap of your existences. and nourishes your soul to give the nature its due for everything you owe to her.
Come , sit here on this rock and let me tell you of a land where fairies played with butterflies.